it's scary how changes takes place. it's even scarier how we change to someone different.

I always thought about the reason why are we here on earth, what do we live for?
I really don't know. I just want a simple, fulfilling life. Indeed life is a misery and I can't wait to meet my maker.

literally broke down.. I swear this will be the last time.

I really can feel my heart aching. is this the right decision.. I'm really scared and insercure. what's gonna happen next. 

I just want a peaceful life and not deal with anything stressful when I'm out of school.. All these while I have been stressful even when I'm not in school.. this isn't how it should be. 

My only wish now is to be carefree

i really need an emotional support.. who can understand my situation :'(
I am feeling so insecure and unprotected.
Usually people are only stressed up with one thing, not getting their goals and all.
mine? I don't have any. even normal daily stuff I too, have probs with it, studies? (Definitely)

and I know this is just the start..
how am I suppose to deal with all these?
I can't even communicate with anyone about it...... everything is bottled up inside and I am literally suffocating and crying.

have been asking myself over and over again. Why am I feeling sad yet happy at the same time?

 I love to have fun, doing crazy stuff, love going for random adventures. but well, i can't do that with a boyfriend whom doesn't like doing all these. I know I'm happy with him but at the same time I can't be myself either. imagine all the dates planned is because YOU want to go and not his choice. He is doing it because you requested for it. Shouldn't it be a 2 way thing? It's like you are the only one being happy at that particular place or doing that particular activity, but he's there not enjoying it.